lol

yuck

the fresh air is perfume and i feel wonderful and sick

i usually hate posting lyrics but..

On bended knee is no way to be free
lifting up an empty cup I ask silently
that all my destinations will accept the one that's me
so I can breathe

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know
got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul
so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across in cages they bought
they think of me and my wandering


but I'm never what they thought
got my indignation but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
underneath my being is a road that disappeared
late at night I hear the trees
they're singing with the dead
overhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
consider me a satellite for ever orbiting
I knew all the rules but the rules did not know me
guaranteed...

download this song.

hearts for eyes

i don't feel bad, so i feel bad about not feeling bad. does that mean i actually do feel bad? idk. maybe not, maybe just putting it that way makes me feel like less of an asshole.

...

if a tree falls on a woman, and no one's around to hear it, why was a tree in the kitchen?

lol @ my life

you'd think someone would believe it after hearing it a million times, but i don't, and i'm not just being melodramatic.

blah blah whiney shit blah. ugh. it really is hard for me to complain.

dear westboro baptist church

If I were ever at one of the soldier funerals you protest, I would not give a flying shit about your first amendmant rights, I would beat your evil asses with your 'god hates fags,' signs, because those fags are defending your freedom and your right to protest at the CEREMONY of THEIR DEATH.

America is never going to be 1950's america again, so i'm sorry you miss 'blue ribbons' and 'family values' but I don't miss discrimination against women and blacks, or high waisted man pants. Gays aren't out to ruin families dammit, most of them start families, that of which consist of needy and homeless children. The others just want a good sale at Express. Which I know you don't shop at, based on the floor length velvet skirts, so it's not like they intrude on your lives or anything.

All they teach in sunday school is love love love compassion love love love macaroni pictures love love, or at least the one I went too, so learn about what you think you're representing, and stop being tacky hate mongers.

mmm

bullshit day.

i wish i could force myself to believe in god sometimes, because the thought that nobody is going to intervene when i feel as shitty as this is almost depressing enough to make me want to fake it. i may not be religious, but i get religion. i don't want to think i'm alone either. i understand why people cling to it so much, i understand why they're so against any mention that there isn't a god. it's depressing, especially when you're going threw a shitty period. its comforting to think that someone is there who is powerful and can help you. it's comforting to know that all the answers are in one book and that we don't have to guess, because we're shitty at guessing and we could be wrong, causing more shit for ourselves. its comforting to think there's a source of all good protecting us.

it's a beautiful thought, sometimes wish i could believe it. i almost envy people that can.

i hate kids my age.

1. we are self righteous

2. we can't deal with ourselves, so we constantly make up excuses for detaching from reality, because we are too mentally weak to deal with...like, anything.

3. we're generally not empathetic. your best friend of 5 years will get drunk and fuck your boyfriend, and then get angry at you when you ask why.

4. nothing, and i mean NOTHING, is our fault. cuss people out a lot? it delves from the anger which stems from the depression you have because your parents divorced when you were 6. were you the one who fucked your best friends boyfriend? that was the alcohol. didn't graduate highschool? damn educational system musta fucked you over. they never gave a shit about you, so you didn't care, right?

5. we're self centered and generally don't give a shit about anything happening beyond our little own little circles.

6. we're stupid. we could not pass half the tests our grandparents had to, because we care about retaining nothing.

look at

my tattoo!! these pictures aren't great, i'll get better ones later.

quote from:

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."

the quote, person, and story behind it are very near and dear to me.

k so

i'm sorry for my anger yesterday. here's a bunch of kitties to make you warm and fuzzy again. happy tuesday.