bullshit day.

i wish i could force myself to believe in god sometimes, because the thought that nobody is going to intervene when i feel as shitty as this is almost depressing enough to make me want to fake it. i may not be religious, but i get religion. i don't want to think i'm alone either. i understand why people cling to it so much, i understand why they're so against any mention that there isn't a god. it's depressing, especially when you're going threw a shitty period. its comforting to think that someone is there who is powerful and can help you. it's comforting to know that all the answers are in one book and that we don't have to guess, because we're shitty at guessing and we could be wrong, causing more shit for ourselves. its comforting to think there's a source of all good protecting us.

it's a beautiful thought, sometimes wish i could believe it. i almost envy people that can.