i'm so fucking critical, and i don't find that a flaw. i can also be pretty self centered, and i'm cool with that too.
the only reason i'm afraid of getting old is because i'm afraid of getting ugly. it's petty and i should grow up but whatevs.
i'm really pumped to have kids. i picture it all the time. i have a list of baby names on my phone and my mac. i'm probably more excited to have kids then i am to get married or anything.
the most comforting things to me are southern/western/country related. i listen to little big town when i'm sad or i just need some music comfort food. corn fields, riding horses, big open spaces, and my stupid relatives with southern accents have the same effect, as well as sweet tea, corn bread, dumplings, all the artery clogging crap my grandmas used to make.
i may not totally be a country person but i was raised around a lot of them, and it's a small part of me i now accept and love.
a lot of people complain when i make cd's because they usually have about 9 different genres and thats too ADD for them.
they used to think i had ADD when i was a wee lass but it turns out i was just a loud stupid kid.
i'll always have a soft spot for underground punk, even if it's having a sucky dry spell like now.
i said i wouldn't be a million times, but in a lot of ways i'm just like my mom. i love black and white movies and antiques, i'm a coffee and wine connoisseur, i read mystery's, and i almost always like the acoustic version better.
my dad and i have a more similar personalities, taste in music, and love for nature. the feeling i have about natural places and things is indescribable, but it's most definitely inherited from my dad.
that indescribable feeling is the reason Into the Wild is one of my favorite movies. it's the only movie i know that gives a visual to that thing i can't describe.
i'm a really lucky person to have ended up with my parents. they've taken me places ever since i was born, they still do, and i love traveling because of it. they'd do things like get me korean food and indian food or some russian barbecue from a restaurant 3 hours away just because it was different and they wanted to try it, they took me to foreign or indie films and any type of museum around before i was old enough to appreciate them, they put me in art and dance classes. it sounds like i'm tooting my own horn when i say i think i'm pretty well rounded, but i really don't take any credit, it's completely all their fault if i am.
if i was scared, my dad made me try it anyway, so eventually i quit being scared and became a crack addict for new experiences. my dad was always right, it never was scary and i always loved it.
if i'm a psycho fan of anything it's movies. they've always been my favorite thing, and if i get to make them like i want to, it'll be an absolute dream come true. even if it's just barely known indies, my life will be complete.
it doesn't make me sad that i won't see a lot of my old classmates anymore, but it makes me sad that i feel that way.
i'll miss lincoln, i know it sucks and it's boring, but it's home.
i've been told a million times that if i do movies, i'll probably have to move out to LA, and thats like my worst nightmare. it's kind of ironic that i'd have to do something i'd REALLYY hate to do something i really love.
i can't escape the 'if everyone else likes it i hate it' attitude i got from my hardcore dumb emo kid phase. i try to but eh. maybe it's healthy not to be a trend whore.
there's not a lot of people i really admire. there is a few, but i can't even think of any right now.
i think girls that have to have or depend on a man for their happiness are weak and dumb. i think anyone that needs to be with someone all the time to be truly happy isn't a complete person. i don't think you can or should be happy in a relationship if you can't be happy just by yourself.
i usually don't tell people that unless they ask, because they get pretty offended. i think you should be okay by yourself, shit especially as a girl, because people always expect that you won't be.
i like cooking but i never do it.
i don't believe in god and i think i'm still a good person. i don't usually tell people that either, because they automatically assume i'm not.
i don't associate not believing in god with bad morals. i associate it with being rational. i don't have any beef with religious people, but if you ask me 'well if evolution is true, then why are there still chimps?' and i explain that 'we aren't descended from chimps. we're their cousins, we both evolved from a common ancestor that no longer exists. we didn't come from them, so it's pretty logical that they're still around' then you can't get angry and call me a satanist. i'm just telling you what i think is true, and answering your question.
like i said, i don't have any problem with people who chose religion, not personally anyway, but i don't think any hardcore religious person (of ANY religion, not just christian) should be in any position of authority. i believe those positions should be saved for rational people.
now that i've offended you, i'm gonna go to bed.
